Sunday, April 8, 2007

BAD Mommy

Yes, I am a bad mommy. I was sitting here last night, about 1am, when it hit me...I FORGOT AN EASTER BASKET!!!! Thank GOD my sister got him one to play with. YAY Auntie!!!! I guess with new crappy job I ought to be glad I finally had the time to go see the Easter Bunny with him yesterday. CUTE CUTE CUTE picture!!! (And if y'all are LUCKY, I may even scan it and post a picture!!!!)

I guess I am also feeling like a bad mommy because I am not able to spend as much time with my darling son anymore. I leave in the morning when he's been up an hour, drop him off at the sitter's, get home and he's ready to go to bed an hour after we get here. I *MISS* him. As soon as this darned student loan is close to being paid off I am OUTTA there. I got really lucky and have an AWESOME sitter who actually loves him, but I am jelaous that she's the one who'll more than likely get to see his first steps, hear his first words...y'all know what I mean.

My dad is also going in for a resectioning of his colon tomorrow afternoon. He had a colonoscopy a few weeks ago and they discovered cancer. I wish I could say what I wanted to here. I do ask for your prayers- both for his physical and mental health. He is depressed, and I can understand that- but it seems like he doesn't really want to fight this. My mom is understandable freaked out about the what-ifs of it all, my sister is too. I feel like I have to be the strong one so I haven't even let myself get to the point where I *CAN* cry at all about this. I have the need to be the strong one, plus I feel like I need to know what to worry about. Will he need chemo? Chemo AND radiation? Is it terminal? Too many unanswered questions at this point and we won't have the answers until tomorrow or Tuesday. (Then my whole state of mind may be another thing entirely.) All we do know is that the Dr's believe they caught this thing early- which is good. If they did then I am not going to worry, just horsewhip my father until he too believes this isn't a guaranteed death sentence.

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